Love is the Drug
by Rubix84
Summary: Re-imagining of the Rave (series 1, episode 5) for a prompt on tumblr
1. Chapter 1

**Anonymous asked: love your fan fics! Could you maybe do one at the rave where Rae see's chloe and Finn kissing instead of running off she confronts them but if you could, could it be quite long? thank you so much love love your fan fictions!**

**Dear Anon, please find below something in response to your request. As per usual I'm sure my stories have a mind of their own so I hope you like. This may or may not be finished, I wasn't sure if you wanted to see Finn and Rae actually get together at this point so if you wish I could do a bit of a continuation...**

* * *

The grey dullness of urban life gradually gave way to the brilliant green of rolling fields and tree lined roads as the scooter flew along. Rae felt her troubles simply fall away, left far behind her, to be forgotten if only for one night. She stretched her arms out wide, embracing the sheer feeling of joy that the rushing of the wind seemed to deliver her. She could just hear Finn's laughter carried on the air as she wrapped her arms tightly back around him. Burying her nose into the intoxicating leather of his jacket she clung to him as he accelerated the scooter. She had never felt more alive than right here on this open road on the back of Finn's scooter.

Too soon the old dilapidated stately home loomed up ahead and Finn turned the scooter off the road carefully guiding it over the grass to where the rest of the gang were parked up in the car. A chorus of greetings rang out as Rae carefully got off the back of the scooter, her heart jumping as Finn briefly took her hand to help her off, and then carefully removed her helmet for her. Eyes met, both twinkling with a shared hope for what tonight could bring. Rae felt a delicious feeling of lightness, like she wanted to soar as high as a kite as they all made their way across the fields and lawns. The sun behind them was beginning to send flashes of orange and purple across the sky as it disappeared below the horizon.

Inside the air felt muggy and heavy, but the brick walls all around them were cool and damp to the touch. Eager to maintain the feeling of exhilaration she had felt on the bike Rae placed the small blue pill on her tongue, which Chop had offered her, chasing it with a swig of her drink. The cellars of the old house were cavernous, full of arches and dark corners, and large open spaces filled with bouncing dancing bodies. The music echoed and vibrated all around them, and the flashing green strobe lights bathed everybody in an eerie luminescent glow. "Let's do this," Chop shouted over the noise as they all headed into the mass of heaving bodies.

Rae didn't know if it was the effect of the pill or just her carefree mood but she felt like every fibre of her being was thrumming in time to the beat of the blaring music. The flashing lights seemed to be giving everything around her a fantastical quality, all of the hypnotic colours battling for her attention, demanding to be acknowledged in turn. She was vaguely aware of the gang jumping around alongside her. She smiled, she had actually done it, she'd been accepted, was popular even. Her friends all wanted her here. Finn wanted her here. She tried to catch Finn's eye but he was busy throwing some shapes with Izzy. She decided that later when she'd had her fill of dancing she would talk to him, but right now she felt like she could keep moving for an eternity, the rhythm carrying her far into the night.

The large glowing yellow smiley face continued to look down over the rave in progress, and the reality of time seemed to lose all meaning. Songs merged and melted into one another until all it became was a throbbing drumming background noise. The lights continued to flicker on and off causing strange shadows and shapes in every corner. Rae vaguely recalled speaking to Chloe earlier, she was still sniffing round Finn like a dog on heat, but Rae thought she had managed to successful conceal what her true intentions towards Finn were tonight. Last thing she wanted to do was tip Chloe off that she had competition. She had seen Archie, Izzy and Chop milling about too. But where was Finn? Rae suddenly realised she had not seen Finn since… Well she couldn't remember when she had last seen him. As soon as this song had finished she determined to track him down.

As she danced on she became aware of a guy watching her. She squinted her eyes in vague recognition, was it that drug dealer fella that Chop knew? He was complimenting her on her moves or something, Rae wondered if he had any more of those magic pills on him. Taking another little blue pill from him she felt it dissolve away in her mouth. He asked her whether she was single; no she would be here with Finn if she could find him. Then he was trying to kiss her, but no she was here with Finn. Where was Finn? Then Chop seemed to appear from nowhere, dragging her back over to the bar. Was he crying? What the hell was going on? Round her the crowd of people seemed to circling faster, the beat of the music was getting more intense, and she could not understand why Chop was crying. Then he was asking her what he should do because he loved Izzy, and Rae was the daddy so what should he do? Rae advised him to tell her. Tell her like she should tell Finn, but where was Finn? She should go and find him right now and tell him she loved him, and dance with, and kiss him, just like she had imagined.

Maybe it was the effects of the second pill setting in but Rae felt a sense of empowering invincibility. Chop should tell Izzy and she should tell Finn. But then through the throng of people they saw Izzy kissing that drug dealer guy. Bloody hell thought Rae as Chop's face dropped and he disappeared off into the crowd. Shit, grabbing hold of Archie by the collar of his t-shirt Rae attempted to follow him. Together Rae and Archie staggered out into the fresh air outside. The night sky was now pitch black and around them worse-for-wear party-goers were slumped on the ground. They could see no sign of Chop, and Archie declared that he did this all the time. Rae decided that she needed another drink, so abandoning their search they headed back inside to the bar.

Downing her second shot, the alcohol coursing through her veins she slammed the glass back down on the bar. No more procrastinating, this was the time for action, she would go and find Finn now. Archie looked at her puzzled as she declared that she had to kiss him, had to tell him. Mind made up Rae stumbled away from the bar heading back into the mass of heaving bodies. She was jostled and shoved as she checked every face, asking anybody and everybody had they seen Finn? She began to feel panic rise as sickly bile in her throat as she searched every nook and cranny for him. Had he left already, had he gone home without her? She was about to give up the search when she spotted him. Rae felt her carefully patched up world splinter and shatter about her as the fluorescent lights skipped over the two bodies intertwined in front of her. Finn was there wrapped up in a kiss with Chloe. Rae felt the buzzing energy evaporate from her as she repeated no, no, no over and over again, but her mantra was lost in the music. A heavy dark cloud of despair settled over her as she felt like her legs might give way beneath her. It felt like it was pinning her to this spot, forcing her to watch her own eternal hell until her eyes bleed the images in crimson ribbons down her cheeks.

Rae raised a hand to her cheek which was indeed wet. Her tears were causing Finn and Chloe to swim before her eyes now, she closed them trying to blank her mind but her brain seemed to be whirring away demanding action. She could feel the blood rushing round her body as her heart pumped loudly. Delightful images of her yanking Chloe off Finn with her ponytail and throwing her to a pack of ravenous lions played on the darkness of her eyelids.

She jumped, startled as she felt a hand on her shoulder. Opening her eyes she saw Finn standing there a concerned look on her face, Chloe a few metres behind him. "Rae?" he questioned her. Jolted from her state of inaction Rae turned and ran. Perhaps she could hear Finn calling out behind her, perhaps it was just her imagination playing evil tricks on her again. Like it had tricked her into thinking Finn maybe liked her, and maybe he really wanted her to come tonight because without her his world is just a little less vivid, and that when he had took her hand earlier he had felt the tingle of electricity like she had, and when he had said nothing but just smiled at her when Chloe had said they looked like a couple it was because he wanted it to be true.

As she ran through the maze of arches to the exit, the huge yellow face leered and laughed at her, the smile becoming a twisted and distorted grimace. The air outside hit her like a sledgehammer, her legs finally giving way below her sending her collapsing to ground as she tried to hold back the sobs threatening to overcome her. She knelt holding herself up on her arms fighting the urge to throw-up, somewhere in her head she began counting to 10. At around eight another form fell to their knees in front of her.

"Rae?" Finn asked her softly, "wha' – what's wrong?"

Rae felt like screaming at him 'you broke my fucking heart'. She wiped a hand across her face, trying to remove the trace of her tears. Her hand came away streaked in yellow and blue. She tried to regain control over her frantic breathing.

"C'mon Rae speak to me please?" Finn pleaded with her, "is it Archie again, 'cos I don't know why you're givin' that dick another chance." The vehemence in his voice surprised Rae as she looked up in confusion, her and Archie?

"Wha', me and Archie?"

Finn's eyes darkened perceptibly, "yeah I saw y'two earlier kissin', figured y'know," he chewed at the inside of his mouth in frustration. Rae fought with her addled mind for a lost memory. Her and Archie kissing? "If he's done summit to upset you again I will fuckin' kill him," Finn continued hands clenching and unclenching by his sides.

Chloe appeared standing behind Finn. "Rae, wha's going on?" her tone was saccharine sweet but Rae could sense the anger bubbling underneath. Rae pushed herself up from the ground, mustering all the pain she felt, directing it at Chloe.

"Wha's up Chlo?" she glowered down at her, "you won, Finn is yours, you always win don't ya?" As soon as the words left her mouth Rae immediately wished she could take them back, she felt like she was standing exposed under a massive spot light, all of her insecurities on display.

Chloe looked affronted "wha' does that mean?" she demanded.

Tears rolling unchecked down Rae's face again she just wanted to disappear into the ether. Not even daring to look at Finn she began to run, cautious steps at first, but all she knew was she had to get to somewhere alone, private, away from Finn, away from Chloe, so her heart could break in peace. Behind her she could hear Finn calling her name, but she kept moving onwards away from the rave into the silent bleak darkness that surrounded the house.

_To be continued?_


	2. Chapter 2

**(Anonymous asked: love your fan fics! Could you maybe do one at the rave where Rae see's chloe and Finn kissing instead of running off she confronts them but if you could, could it be quite long? thank you so much love love your fan fictions!)**

**Okay as promised here is another installment for Love is the Drug. Still not finished, there will be one more part to come, but thought I would put out what I have managed to write so far. Hope you like and I hope it makes sense in its own muddled way….**

**—-**

A warm breeze whipped among the long grasses of the sloping rolling fields, as the surrounding trees whispered and waved to each other, their branches bending to the will of the wind. The early morning sky began to shimmer pink and yellow, the fluffy clouds tinged with a pale violet hue as the sun made its ascent from behind the horizon. The air was dewy, with just a hint of the impending autumn that was just around the corner. All around the twittering songs of birds were heralding the dawn of a new day.

And boy what a day Rae thought to herself, for last night she had become a bona-fide w-o-m-a-n. She looked over at where Finn was lying next to her, his dark eyes were shut but his lips quirked ever so slightly into a smile as he slept. She had only gone and bloody done it, walked through the mystical orgasm gateway with another person beside her. And not any old person either, no it was none other than the sexiest guy in the whole of Lincolnshire, and quite probably the world. Sorry Damon. She fought the urge to do a little victory dance in case Finn woke up and caught her, but her insides were tingling with delight. What a contrast to the last time she had woken beneath the rich green canopy of leaves overhead.

—

For Rae that morning a couple of months previous had started off incessantly grey even as the first fingers of warm dappled yellow light forced her eyes to flicker open. She was lying on her back, just hard ground beneath her, the thin covering of grass that was growing there in the shade of the trees damp to her touch, as were the clothes she was wearing which she could feel sticking and clinging to her skin uncomfortably. Momentarily disorientated, the wispy tendrils of last night's memories gnawed away at the heavy fuzziness that pervaded every corner of her mind. Almost as if mocking her, the image of Finn and Chloe kissing played over and over as if on some grotesque loop. She felt sick to the stomach, a wave of nausea consuming her. She wasn't sure if it was the horrid after-effects of last night's excesses or the knowledge that Finn and Chloe had kissed that was making her feeling the most ill. Carefully she sucked in a steadying lung full of air, trying to fight the acidic reflux at the bottom of her throat. Her mouth felt parched, dry as the Sahara, and she could feel hard caked on saliva sticking at the corners of her mouth.

"Rae – Rae are ya awake?" a gruff voice startled her, causing her to sit bolt upright, immediately regretting it as the world started to spin about her. She made a mental note to never fucking drink again as a merry troop of troubadours marched their way through her head. Her eyes widened in shock as she clocked Finn sitting, back against the trunk of a great old tree, just in front of her. I'm dreaming was Rae's immediate reaction. I'm having this bloody perfect dream where I get to wake up and get ravished senseless right here in the woods by a sex God himself. She stopped her imagination before Finn had completely peeled her out of her blue dress and prayed that he had no clue what had just been running through her mind. Though why would he, when he was a total Adonis, and she, well she was nothing.

"Finn," her voice came out sort of high and squeaky, as if not ready for the day yet. Her eyes flitted about expecting to find Chloe somewhere nearby. "Where's Chloe?" The smile that had been playing at the corner of Finn's lips vanished so quickly that Rae barely had time to notice let alone try and process what it meant.

"Wen' home with Chop," he shrugged, tugging at some of the grass beside him.

Rae sat, wishing she felt a little less grubby, she knew she must look a mess, even more so than usual, and Finn was just sitting there staring at her. Rae couldn't remember the exact details but the sinking feeling in her stomach was a pretty good sign that she had said or done something stupid last night. Please please please tell me I didn't tell Finn I loved him, she pleaded to no one other than herself. She was half tempted just to ask Finn what had happened, to end the internal torture raging inside with the answers. But what if the answers were bad, the worse, like what if she had told Finn everything and he had just laughed in her face. But if that was the case why was he here now? Maybe he's gonna let me down gently, explain that he thinks we should just be friends.

"So y'alright?" he asked her. Rae nodded meekly, trying to pluck up the courage to meet his gaze, but not quite able to. Then she struck on a plan. Make Finn believe she was so drunk last night she didn't remember anything, shouldn't be too difficult to do as she had been pretty wasted.

"Just hungover, I drank a lot last night," she squinted her eyes against the intruding sunlight for emphasis, "I hope I didn't do summit drunken and twatish last night." She held her breath, chewing at her lip, as she waited for Finn to respond.

Finn looked to the ground as he brushed the grass he had pulled up from his hands, before looking back up at Rae, the comforting twinkle shining in his eye as he teased her with a smirk "Wha' any more than usual?" Rae felt like the weight of her troubles had been lifted slightly, he was taking the piss out of her so things must be… normal.

"I'll let y' 'ave that one," she shot back, "but only 'cos I've got the hangover from hell, seriously I feel like I've been dragged through pig swill."

Finn laughed briefly in response, before standing up. Rae wondered if he was leaving, but he just repositioned himself, coming to lie down next to where she sat. Rae looked down at him, remembering an easier time when she though he was a complete dick. Bloody gorgeous but a bit of a prick (ok a complete prick to be honest). She could handle that. This 'the whole package' thing though, it was tough to take. It should actually be bloody illegal for anybody to be this bloody perfect she decided. Discreetly she slipped the single white glove off that she had been wearing and wiped at the corners of her mouth hoping to remove some of the lingering grime of sweat and dribble in effort to feel and hopefully look more human, then she laid back down next to Finn.

"D'ya need to get goin' for your Mum's wedding?" he asked her after they had laid in silence for a while. Rae groaned, she had almost completely forgotten about that and the fight she'd had with her Mum. It seemed like an eternity ago, not only yesterday. She wasn't sure her Mum and Karim would even want her there after everything that happened with the birds, and her walking out, and well everything was just a giant mess.

"I s'pose," she shrugged non-committal.

"I'm sure everythin' will be fine, y'know, with your Mum," Finn tried to reassure her.

Rae turned her head to look at him, forcing a weak smile, "I guess."

"Rae…" he started again.

"Yes?"

"Dun't matter."

Rae nudged him a little with her shoulder against his, "c'mon out with it?"

"I jus' – I jus' wondered about you and Archie, tha's all."

"Me 'n' Archie?" Rae frowned, but somewhere niggling in her mind a fragile memory was trying to get through. Her and Archie kissing, but then why would Finn care as he had snogged Chloe's face off good and proper. She remembered that all right. "Finn, why you here?" she asked him, the question still niggling away at her brain.

"D'ya – D'ya," he stumbled over his words, "D'ya not remember last night?" the light in his eyes dulled a little as he looked at her. Rae's blood chilled. "It's jus' I wanted t'tell you summit yesterday, 'n' things got a bit screwed up."

"What?" though Rae wasn't sure she could take hearing what he had to say.

_to be continued…_


End file.
